Santa Claus Is Coming To Town!

Two of my brothers- Wayne and Art- and I with Santa, circa 1970

Guardian Angels, Warrior Moms

Eric and I at Cherry Beach, Toronto

Recently I dropped Eric off at a Saturday Social Skills program for adults with autism run by Kerry's Place Autism Services, an exceptional organization in Toronto. We were the first to arrive.  Eric, as usual, was having a difficult time separating from me. My granddaughter was with us, so she and Eric ran around the coach house that the program is housed in. She was having a ball, and Eric knew I couldn't leave without Sammy, so he was fairly calm while exploring. I settled in, knowing it would be a good 10 minutes before I'd be able to leave. I was chatting with program staff when in walked the next participant- whom I recognized right away. A young man probably about 10 years older than Eric. He lives on my street with his mother, who walked in immediately behind him. The young man settled fairly quickly so I was able to talk to the mom. Something I'd been wanting to do for nearly 2 decades. You see, I could never forget her.  She had had a profound impact on me, and made a huge difference for my son. The interaction had been brief, and I was sure she wouldn't recall it, or us. But I needed to thank her. So while Sammy and Eric explored the house I told her and the staff the story of that day, nearly 20 years ago.

The Unexpected Journey- Cory's Story

The Unexpected Journey- Cory's Story

 

When you have children with special needs you tend to seek out those going through the same challenges your own family is experiencing. Even if you're lucky enough to have a supportive extended family, you still crave the company of those who KNOW the life. Those you can vent to, and provide support to in return. Facebook has its faults, but one of the things it does well, very well, is allow communities to come together. I 'met' Cory through one of those communities. 

This is her story, in her own words

My Monkey. My Eric. Special and Needed

My Baby

Twenty year ago today I gave birth to my second child. From the very first moment, life with my Eric was to be different than anything I had ever known. Three ultrasounds had said HE was a girl. Nope. My labour with my oldest son had been text book. With Eric it was completely different and I had to be treated for shock. Eric slept straight through the first 12 hours of his life. That would be the last time he would sleep longer than a few hours at a time, ever. He didn't cry. Not a single tiny 'wah', until he was 6 months old. Then every other week or so he would cry for hours and hours straight, as if in extreme pain. No doctor could find a reason. Despite that,  he was an incredible baby. and I felt blessed. So quiet. So easy. He was fussy around people, but if I held him, or he was allowed to play on his own, he`d be content for hours. A beautiful baby with cascades of blonde ringlets and massive mahogany eyes, I was approached often about putting him in pictures. Eric crawled early, walked at 9 months,  he was physically very advanced. But he still wasn't making sounds. At 9 months I spoke to my family doctor. He set up appointment after appointment with specialist after specialist for years to come. He knew that if I thought something was not quite right, than it wasn't. I took Eric for hearing assessments and psychological assessments blood tests and MRIs but I often felt we were being brushed off. 

Finally at just over 3 years old, Eric was diagnosed with autism. 

YouTube Self-Discovery

I logged onto YouTube today, for the first time in Who Knows When. 

Well it turns out my 20 year old son, severely autistic, unable to care for himself, has apparently hacked in.

Repeatedly. 

For the last two years. 

It shouldn't surprise me. 

About 6 months ago everyone in my contacts list received an email saying:

" Eric good boy. Eric get presents. Eric get Mickey Mouse toy, Ford C600 model kit"

Eric is unable to bathe himself adequately , cannot speak beyond an 18 month old level or understand danger, but he sure knows his way around a computer! 

My son's skills are all over the spectrum, pun intended! 

ANYWAY, when I logged on, I noticed I had a "watch later" and "favourites" tab. I had never noticed this before, but SOMEONE (guess who) must have, because I had entries logged for the past 2 years. Remember, my severely autistic son  had "favourited" these videos, but for the last 2 years anybody looking would naturally assume I had done so. 

I decided to watch them myself, and see why "I" would single them out.

Somehow, Some Way, We Find Each Other

If you know me, or have been following this blog, you will know that my adult son Eric is autistic. He has progressed a million miles beyond the prognosis doctors gave him as a 3 year old, but he his still profoundly challenged. He will never live on his own, always need care and in recent years has developed anxiety disorders that make life very difficult at times. He is also very loving, and extremely loveable. I call him my divining rod, but rather than pointing out water, he exposes just who is, and who isn't, a truly GOOD person. Life with Eric is filled with daily miracles. He keeps innocence alive in my home. That being said- it definitely is not easy. Eric has developed severe agoraphobia and separation anxiety. In contradiction to his fear of leaving the house, he is also a 'wanderer' , he may take off at any given moment with no sense of danger, no safety awareness and limited verbal skills. Lets just say he keeps me on my toes.

Bruce Cassidy and his amazing band at Hugh's Room

You constantly need a full energy tank in my home and I've discovered that I need a regular break to keep my tank filled. My respite of choice is live music. This past Thursday a wonderful show was happening at Hugh's Room , part of The inaugural World Music Festival being staged by Jazz FM 91.1. It was South Africa night and the Bruce Cassidy Band was holding a tribute to Hugh Masekela. I couldn't wait!

Creativity takes Courage

My Handsome Man is an exceptional pianist. As a teen he even made a living as a musician, but it wasn't the career path deigned for him. Instead he entered into the forefront of the IT field. It is very difficult for someone so musical to suppress that part of themselves, but he thrived in IT. He has produced other people's musical and creative works over the years and has played in some rocking hobby bands but nothing to the extent he craved. Recently he decided to hire a wonderful local musician to teach him jazz piano and is throwing himself into it heart and soul (or should I say Body and Soul?). He has dabbled in other projects over the years, but the fact he chose as an adult to dive into something creative he's always wanted to explore really inspired me. In fact, it was the catalyst to me starting this blog. I have wanted to write the book so many people have asked me to write for many years now, but have quite frankly been intimidated. Handsome Man making his musical dreams come true inspired me to do the same with my own artistic craving. This may not be a book, but it is a fabulous venue to recount my tales, my very own creative outlet and I must admit I'm loving this journalistic journey.
Handsome Man is not the only person in my life whose choice to explore their creative side has inspired me. Below are the stories of two wonderful and very different people whom I respect, admire and in terms of chasing my dream, try to emulate. I hope you'll learn to love them as much as I have!

Daddy's Girl

 Daddy as a young man at Fisherman's Bay

A few weeks from now will mark the 24th anniversary of my father's death. Remembering losing him is still so painfully raw that I usually chose to remember only his life not his death. But in the last few years I have come to understand his death was as much a part of his wonderful affect on me as his life and parenting.

The Disney Lady

I'm a single mom of adult children having forms of autism, and have custody of my 3 year old granddaughter, so not surprisingly I was assessed earlier this year as having stress levels on par with a front line soldier. It was suggested I find ways to reduce my stress (HA!). I am very lucky to have an extraordinary man in my life ( from here-on-in named 'Handsome Man' in all blog posts ). He invited me down to Sarasota Florida for a week of R&R. This sounded too good to be true, and it nearly was. My 19 year old, 200+lb son Eric is severely autistic, and he has been in and out of crisis for the last 2 years. This means Eric's anxiety levels have been so high that he would go several days without sleep, has been hospitalized twice, developed agoraphobia and separation anxiety, and when overwhelmed, could become extremely violent. Although his anxiety was being managed, I was not sure I'd be able to take advantage of the wonderful battery recharger called a 'vacation'.

Autism Moms Unite at The Iron Bridge Inn!

One of the overnight stops on the drive home from Florida with My Handsome Man was Mercer PA. A wonderful town. Our hotel was well appointed, but we thought we`d try a local restaurant for dinner. The concierge had some great recommendations and we settled on Iron Bridge Inn, located oddly enough beside a beautiful Iron Bridge spanning a quaint little river. We found a wonderful booth, completely surrounded by warm oak, almost as if we were in our own separate dining room. Its was kitcshy and romantic all at the same time. Our waitress arrived with our menus, and took our drink orders. I as usual had wine (hence days of Whine and Rosè!), while handsome man ordered the best named beer EVER!